Talvar: sharp or rusty?

It was supposed to be just another movie on just another day, but it was more. It could have been a yet another movie which touched a chord and left a fleeting inspiration, but it was much more. It was special, and very disturbing. I distinctly remember feeling angry, helpless, very angry, very helpless. Both directly and vicariously. I wished for a magic wand to be able to bring out the real truth once and for all. I wished to be in a country where truth could prevail without magic wands!

The whole country was shocked by the Aarushi Talwar – Hemraj double murder case. It has been 7 years and we still don’t know for sure who the real killers are. What we know is that Aarushi’s parents are deemed guilty and are put behind bars for life. Even if you knew some of the case facts, could you put your hand on your heart and say that they killed their only daughter? It’s for you to answer. I know what my heart feels.

I know what my brain feels too! Since watching the movie, I have done my own research – read several articles, interviews, read the book, went through the 210 page judgement. There are many open questions, I am asking only 5.

1. Can we so easily discard the narco tests of three separate individuals bringing out more or less the same story independently? And what about those of the parents indicating they had no knowledge of the crime?

2. Can we imagine a criminal contesting a closure report which says that it does not have enough evidence to charge them and requesting for investigation to continue?

3. Can we imagine a criminal finding and handing over the murder weapon themselves to CBI?

4. Can we be so sure that a 14 year old girl was found in a compromising position with her 45 year old servant when there is no evidence of him being present in her room that night?

5. Can we imagine that parents would kill their only daughter out of rage, first by hitting her with a golf club and then slitting her throat just to be extra sure?

I am not sure who is guilty and who is not, my opinions and feelings do not have a legal standing. But I am sure that there is enough fuzziness for a “reasonable doubt”. The logic and evidence provided is far away from being able to overcome the presumption “innocent until proven guilty”. And if they were actually innocent, just imagine what they have been going through for the last 7 years!

Some friends ask me why this affects me so much, surely there are hundreds of more burning issues is the country – corruption, crime, religious intolerance, quota, dowry, etc. I don’t know for sure. One, I can’t help but think what if this happened to me. I would not have the courage to bear it. Two, in all other cases I can attribute the injustice to politics, somebody’s greed or lust for power. Who do I attribute this one to? To our incompetent investigations or to our society’s inherent desire for a spicy story or to our irresponsible media for pandering to such society? You tell me.

Anand Gautam

16^th October 2015

Doosri duniya (Scroll below for Hindi)

Tum sab ki aankhein nam dekhta hoon,

Accha lagta hai.

Mujhe yaad karte rota dekhta hoon,

Accha lagta hai.

Eksaas hota hai ki main bhi Duch mayane rakhta tha,

Bahut accha lagta hai.

Maloom padta hai ki tum mujhe kitna chahte the,

Bahut accha lagta hai.

Achanak apni aankhein bhi paata hoon num,

Bura lagta hai.

Ab bhool bhi jao mujhko kahte hain ye aansoo,

Bura lagta hai.

Tum sabko rota dekhti hain ye asahay aankhein,

Bahut bura lagta hai.

Ab to ye aalam hai ki tumhara yaad karma bhi,

Bahut bura lagta hai.

Main tumhare beech nahi hoon ab, yaad to aati hogi,

Isi gum mein rote ho, itna to hain hum samajh sakte.

Par yahan is doosri duniya mein main jitna khush hoon,

Kya tum is baat ko samajh meri khushi mein shaamil nahi ho sakte?

Us zaalim, papi, bhrasht duniya se kai guna acchi hai ye duniya,

Kya meri is khushi ke liye tum apne thode se gum bhula nahi sakte?

Aisa nahi hai ki mujhe gum nahi hai,

Gum to bahut hai tum sab se bichadne ka.

Par gum ke saath saath khushi bhi to hai,

Na jaane kitne bichudon se milne ki.

Aur saath mein hai sada yah ehsaas,

Maut sabko aani hai – yah atal vishwaas.

Mujhe pata hai ki wo waqt bhi hai paas,

Jab tum bhi us maaya ki duniya ko tyag,

Hamesha ke liye aa jaoge mere paas.

Us din meri khushi kai guna badh jaayegi,

Aur tum khud dekhoge ki main yahan kitna khush hoon.

- Anand Gautam

24^th June 2005

दूसरी दुनिया

तुम सब की आँखें नम देखता हूँ,

अच्‍छा लगता है.

मुझे याद करते रोता देखता हूँ,

अच्‍छा लगता है.

एहसास होता है की मैं भी कुछ मायने रखता था,

बहुत अच्‍छा लगता है.

मालूम पड़ता है की तुम मुझे कितना चाहते थे,

बहुत अच्‍छा लगता है.

अचानक अपनी आँखें भी पाता हूँ नम,

बुरा लगता है.

अब भूल भी जाओ मुझको कहते हैं ये आँसू,

बुरा लगता है.

तुम सबको रोता देखती हैं ये असहाय आँखें,

बहुत बुरा लगता है.

अब तो ये आलम है की तुम्हारा याद करना भी,

बहुत बुरा लगता है.

मैं तुम्हारे बीच नही हूँ अब, याद तो आती होगी,

इसी गुम में रोते हो, इतना तो हैं हम समझ सकते.

पर यहाँ इस दूसरी दुनिया में मैं जितना खुश हूँ,

क्या तुम इस बात को समझ मेरी खुशी में शामिल नही हो सकते?

उस ज़ालिम, पापी, भ्रष्ट दुनिया से कई गुना अच्‍छी है ये दुनिया,

क्या मेरी इस खुशी के लिए तुम अपने थोड़े से गुम भुला नही सकते?

ऐसा नही है की मुझे गम नही है,

गम तो बहुत है तुम सब से बिछड़ने का.

पर गम के साथ साथ खुशी भी तो है,

ना जाने कितने बिछड़ों से मिलने की.

और साथ में है सदा यह एहसास,

मौत सबको आनी है – यह अटल विश्वास.

मुझे पता है की वो वक़्त भी है पास,

जब तुम भी उस माया की दुनिया को त्याग,

हमेशा के लिए आ जाओगे मेरे पास.

उस दिन मेरी खुशी कई गुना बढ़ जाएगी,

और तुम खुद देखोगे की मैं यहाँ कितना खुश हूँ.

- आनंद गौतम

24 जून 2005

How there is a 99.8% chance that Champions Trophy is fixed?

Three matches into the Champion’s Trophy, I got a message with bookie predictions of all the matches. It made following the tournament so much more fun. Each and every prediction has come true till now, except a couple of rain affected matches. I am really not excited about today’s big final, do not feel like watching it also!

Here are the predictions and against that the actual results.

      1.       India – SA, India wins              India won

      2.       Pak – WI, WI wins                   WI won

      3.       Eng – Aus, Eng wins                 Eng won

      4.       SL – NZ, NZ wins                     NZ won

      5.       Pak – SA, SA wins                    SA won

      6.       India – WI, India wins              India won

      7.       Aus – NZ, Aus wins                  Washout, rain

      8.       Eng – SL, Eng wins                   SL won, forced due to match 7

      9.       WI – SA, WI wins                     Match tied, rain

      10.   India – Pak, India wins              India won

      11.   Eng – NZ, Eng wins                    Eng won

      12.   SL – Aus, SL wins                      SL won

      13.   Eng – WI semis, Eng wins          Eng won, but against SA

      14.   India – SL semis, India wins       India won

      15.   India – Eng finals, India wins      ???

• Prediction was for India to win all their matches, it happened. 
• Prediction was for Pakistan to lose all their matches, it happened.
• Prediction was for India and England to top their groups and meet in final, it happened.
• Game 7 & 8 discrepancy – Game 7 was a washout, but made SL’s position tricky. Now they would not have qualified winning only one game as predicted (based on NRR). So the result of Game 8 had to be reversed so as to have an India – SL final as predicted
• Game 9 & 13 discrepancy – Game 9 was severely rain affected. We all know how the match got tied, Pollard getting out and rain coming immediately after with the teams tied on D/L score. As a result SA qualified for the semis instead of WI ahead on NRR. However, that did not deter an England victory in the semis.

Is it all a coincidence you tell me? Let us do some math in that case. Forget the first three matches as I got the message only before the fourth match. Forget matches 7, 8 and 9 as explained above. Still 8 match results were predicted correctly. If we assign 0.5 as the probability for any team winning, the probability of 8 predictions coming true would be 0.5^8 = 0.004 or 0.4%! If India win today, the number will become 0.2%. Would I be able to make a statement like “The entire champion’s trophy was fixed with 99.8% probability” and get away with it? J

(For all the skeptics, please do watch the “Fallen Heroes” series on youtube. It will be an eye opener. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LBI4figu67c)

A short short post after a long long time!

For some reason, I suddenly remembered that I had a blog as well! I don't even remember when I visited this page last time. It was pretty amusing to see that the last post was regarding IPL-4! Its IPL-6 going on right now. So two years and no posts! I guess marriage can have some side effects :P

For the last few days I have been itching to write. Have been going over stuff which I wrote and it takes me back to that amazing feeling of having created something. I miss that feeling a lot. I wish I were a little less lazy so that I could write more often.

It is interesting to see that despite being inactive for so long, the blog still keeps getting one or two visitors every once in a while. Probably one of those old faithfuls reminded me of my long lost blog. Thank you :)

I hope to write something more substantial soon. Till then I would like to sign off with a few lines I recently wrote. Around Jan 26th, my company had a short slogan contest (less than 50 words) where we had to write towards the republic day reflecting the current mood in the country. Below is my entry which won the 2nd prize (A DVD of patriotic songs :P)

Women disrespected, while men have a laugh.
Superpower we may become, but only a half.
So raise your voices and have your say,
Women of India - Happy Republic day.

- Anand Gautam

IPL 4 - Nobody's in, nobody's out.....yet!

Please note that after the MI-DD game on 8th May:

No team has yet qualified for the next round in IPL 4.

All teams still have a chance of making it to the next round in IPL4.

A year goes by so fast! Seems like only yesterday when I was ridiculing TOI for qualifying MI to next round two games before they actually did!

http://window-anand.blogspot.com/2010/04/ipl-and-how-wrong-can-one-be-times-of.html

And here I am again, saying almost the same thing again!

After the match today, our learned commentators were shouting at the top of their voice that MI is through to next round and Delhi is out. Bull shit. Both are technically incorrect. MI is still not through and DD is still not out. In fact, like my last year's post, MI might still not be 100% sure of moving to next round even if we assume that they win their next game! Lets take things case by case.

Mumbai are not through yet!

There are 10 teams and four teams will qualify. Par score would be 7 wins, 14 points if 5 teams were to qualify. It doesn't take a genius to doubt if somebody claims that 8 wins will assure you a top 4 finish. In a not so very improbable scenario, the points tally can look like this:
RCB - 19, KKR - 18, CSK - 18, RR - 17, MI - 16, KXIP - 16, DC - 12, KTK - 10, DD - 10, PWI - 4

We don't even have to go to net run rates to knock my favourite team out :)

What is worse that assume MI has already won its next game against Punjab. Still the points table can look like this:

RCB - 18, KKR - 18, CSK - 18, RR - 18, MI - 18, DC - 12, KTK - 12, DD - 12, KXIP - 8, PWI - 6

This is very improbable as it requires RR and RCB match to be washed out again. But the point is that 18 points also do not guarantee a next round qualification since 5 teams can get 18 points easily.

DD can still make it!

Delhi is most probably out, agreed. But please don't say that they are knocked out. If they win all there remaining matches, there still is finite probability that they go through. In one of the scenarios in which DD goes through, the points table would look like:
MI - 24, CSK - 18, KKR -16, DD - 14, KTK - 14, RCB - 13, PWI - 12, RR - 11, KXIP - 10, DC - 8

So can Deccan and even Pune!

Same is the story for the other two teams with 7 losses. If they win all the remaining matches and end up on 14 points, they can still qualify. For example, in one of the scenarios in which Deccan qualifies, the points table would look like:

MI - 22, RCB - 19, DC - 14, KKR - 14, CSK - 14, RR - 13, KTK - 12, KXIP - 12, DD - 10, PWI - 10

And another scenario in which Pune qualifies, the points table would look like:
MI - 24, RCB - 19, PWI - 14, KKR - 14, CSK - 14, RR - 13, KTK - 12, KXIP - 12, DD - 10, PWI - 8

Doing this was fun. But I am surprised with so many intelligent people around, how can nobody else notice this! Don't the commentators think before they make such huge statemetns? Hmmmmmmm.....!

- Anand Gautam

8th May 2011

What a decade...!

A little late, but never too late...

What a decade it has been!

From school, to Physics Olympiads, to amazing 4 years at IITB (H8 H8!) , to first job at ZS, then to MS, then another two roller coaster (sinusoidal :P) years at IIMB (Sports Council!) and now in BCG - arguably the best firm in the world!

First relationship, several breakups, and a lot more ;)

Amazing friends all along. The childhood ones (Chandan, Nikhil), IITBians (Varoon, Vams, Laddha, Pooji, Shikha, Guddu.....), the ZSers (Girish, Kaveri, Mattu......), the MSers (Mittal, Neeraj, Neharika....), the IIMBians (Sparks!, Neha, Vicks....), the BCGers (Partha, Nishant, Rohit, Ankush.....) and a lot many more (Zeta, AP, SS, Pulkit, Nikki, Geetika, Reema....)!

(Surely have missed many names, and there are several that cannot be taken here:P)

First trips abroad: Europe (Euro trip!), Bali, Beijing.

Growing old, growing silly! Thinking you have become mature, but in reality still being a kid.

And my one and only bhatiju - Aadvik Gautam :) :) :)

I repeat: What a decade!

A few other things would have made it even better even more perfect, but what the hell, lets leave something for 2011-2020!

- ANAND GAUTAM

January 8th 2011

[P.S. - I am sure lot of us would echo my sentiments :)]

It takes two to tango

From Wikipedia: “It takes two to tango is a common idiomatic expression which suggests something in which more than one person or other entity are paired in an inextricably-related and active manner, occasionally with negative connotations. The phrase recognizes that there are certain activities which cannot be achieved singly -- like arguing, fighting, making love, dancing the tango.”

Have you ever hated anybody who has never done anything wrong to you? There might be some things which he has done to others or maybe you are generally irritated by that person. But you hate him/her. How much have you hated him/her?

(Ignore any celebrities, like our beloved Mr. Kasab, here. )

And have you ever hated somebody who has done several several wrong things to you? Somebody who has constantly irritated you, been mean to you, hurt you, said hurtful things to you. How much have you hated him/her? More than the guy above? Much more? Much much more? I guess yes.

But this post is not about hatred, it is about love!

Have you ever loved anybody who hasn’t loved you back? Chances are that you have. You adore the person. You have immense respect for the person. You want desperately to be with the person. You simply love the person. Have you ever been in such a situation? If yes, may I ask how much have you loved him/her?

And have you ever loved anybody who has loved you back? Hopefully, you have. You have adored and respected the person, so has he/she. You want to be with him/her as much as him/her. You love the person, you are loved back. If you have been in such a situation, may I again ask how much have you loved him/her?

My point is very simple. Ideally, any one-sided love, in intensity, should be way way inferior to a two-sided love. Just as a one-sided animosity is not even close to an “enemy”. When you love someone and are loved back, there is virtuous cycle which builds. And there is no limit to which this virtuous cycle can take you. It is beautiful, it is divine.

Not to say that one can’t love someone dearly despite not being loved back. You can, and you can do it for eternity. But the intensity should be ideally much lesser than two-sided love. If somebody claims to have an equivalent intensity for someone who does not love him/her back, then there are only two possibilities. Either the person is unaware of what ‘intensity’ can be, or is downright stupid and an emotional fool. There is a need to re-calibrate his/her emotions.

Continuing from wiki: The tango is a dance which requires two partners moving in relation to each other, sometimes in tandem, sometimes in opposition.[2] The meaning of this expression has been extended to include any situation in which the two partners are by definition understood to be essential -- as in, a marriage with only one partner ceases to be a marriage.”

This is how love grows – “two partners moving in relation to each other, sometimes in tandem, sometimes in opposition”. And love keeps growing through a virtuous cycle as long as we don’t get useless negativity in our system and break that cycle.

I have been in love a few times in the past – one-sided as well as relationships. I would always admire, respect and even love all of them, but, “to an extent”. Today I want to declare that I am over each and every one of them. Next time, I want to be able to build and maintain a virtuous cycle. Next time I am in love, I want “no limits”.

- ANAND GAUTAM

9^th May 2010